Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
