He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
