imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
