naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
It's blow job season.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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