Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I wear drunk well.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize