he puts the penis in happiness.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
