those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
