i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize