Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
