When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
