How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Randomize
