dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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