So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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