no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
