it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
The feeling are messing with the penis
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
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