i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
