out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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