Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
