Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
