so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
bring money and cleavage
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
