the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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