My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize