we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
