What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
