I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Randomize
