my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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