This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
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We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
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They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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