You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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