I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
