Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
