You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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