Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
is wine microwaveable?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
