Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
