conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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