my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
