I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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