Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
The beer is more important than you right now.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize