I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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