She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
