I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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