She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
