She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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