She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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