Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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