Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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