I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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