This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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