maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
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