i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
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Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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