Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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