if you like me you must not know who I am
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
