Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Randomize
