A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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