"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
